This is going to be a very touchy
subject but I’m going to start by asking questions:
If a woman and
a man go on a date, drink a few drinks and walk normally home and have
sex. Is this rape?
A man lies to a
woman about being single, rich, no kids or about a job but this resorts to
sex. Is this rape?
A man and woman
go to a hotel room after a night out, they make out like a normal couple and it
leads to sex. Is this rape?
A woman sells
her body for sex to pay for bills, she doesn’t want to sell her body but she does it. Is this rape?
A woman desires
to have sex with a guy who she’s interest in but she’s hesitant because she has
fantasies about being shown how much the man desires her. The man seduces her and this results in
sex. Is this rape?
A woman takes a
man home after spending ages flirting, kissing and getting very horny. This results in sex but the next morning can’t
quite remember what happened.
A normal person
would say all the above is not rape regardless in what way you put it. A woman who may not be able to remember but
certainly did multiple positions, fully consensual sex at the time is certainly
not rape. Personally I think you would
have to be an idiot to sleep with a drunk or even slightly drunk woman but how
many of us wouldn’t be born if our Parents hadn’t been drinking that
night? Think about that one.
I’ve seen many
women get over flirty with men after a few drinks. Would this it be abuse if she had been
touched in a certain way by those men even though at the time she was doing the
same back? No course it’s not. To claim someone
who has had a few drinks not responsible enough for their own actions what
about:
You drink and
drive? Should you be void of any responsibility?
You drink and
cheat on your other half? Should you be void of any responsibility?
You drink and
tell your loved one that you’re unhappy? Getting to see the point?
Drinking
doesn’t void you of any responsibility because the truth
of the matter is you are still in control of yourself if you are able to walk, talk and make decisions on what you want to do drink and eat. Like it or not what you are like when you’ve
had a few is actually more yourself. You’ve
allowed yourself to lose control and be happy.
What we do drunk or slightly “tipsy” is actually what we want to do
sober.
I am a believer
that anyone who rapes another should suffer harsh justice but anyone with a
false rape claim should get the same.
The problem is when it comes to one person’s word against another who is
the victim? If I slept with someone
tonight and she claimed rape what real evidence is there that I’m innocent?
The truth is
and this is hard to admit, I’ve been a victim of a false rape claim. This accusation came years after I dumped an ex,
she was head over heels for me and it was her word against mine. I was crapping myself and thinking I’m guilty
till proven innocent. After all we see
these claims in the papers all the time with no evidence but the man gets
sentenced to prison, look at Ched Evans.
The officer
asked me if I wanted a lawyer to sit in the interview, I said no I’d rather get
it over with. I couldn’t believe she had
done this to me. My job, my career and
everything is over. Even the officer
admitted that today is “I’m guilty till proven innocent”. Even he admitted that she’s looking like a disgruntled
ex who saw a happy picture of me on social media and didn’t like it. Why report it now? Why not right after each
time it happened? If I raped her why would she continue to see me for months
and continue to have sex with me? Would I have to get her friends involved in
the court case because at the time they saw she was a happier person with a
boyfriend? My life is over? Why because I’ve been a jerk and broke some ones
heart? How can I keep ex conversations proving my innocence?
A million things went through my mind. Will she get to feel how I felt? No. Will she get punished for making me feel this
way? No.
The interview
was hard, I had to go in to detail about our relationship and intimacy. Our relationship went over several months
with quite a lot of sex. I had to remember
from years ago how this all went. We had
sex pretty quick after meeting (was the second time we met) and the third time
or forth was in her flat. I had to in to
detail on positions, how long it went for, protection, how many times. I had to say that not once did she do oral on
me (her accusation was that I forced her to do this in an alley) not only did
she not do this but it certainly was never outside. I had to say how many times we did things in
her living room and bedroom, her on top, the dirty messages.
I asked the
question why would she of continued to see me if I was raping her? Wouldn’t her
friends notice her personality change for the worse?
The truth is,
she was a very disgruntled ex who seemed more fussed about me “walking away
laughing at being innocent” than thinking about what “I had done to her”. Which I guess also helped to prove my
innocence but if this had been in the public eye? Would there be severe doubt?
What does
justice do to her false rape accusation that made me feel like my life is over?
Nothing.
Women like her
are another cause of why real rape victims don’t get justice. Should I have kept all our messages from
years ago? Should I have recorded every time we had sex? These are real questions I ask myself. How do I know any of my ex’s won’t do the
same? Should we allow the lie detector test to be used to indicate if it’s even
worth investigating? Is this why lawyers talk to rape victims (false or not) as
if they are the guilty ones?
The sad truth
is the victims are the ones that are hard done by. Those guilty never truly face justice. The victims are put through hell for what?
For revenge or 5 minute piece of fun?
A lot of people
are very quick to scream rape when it’s not.
A lot of people are quick to say a man must be guilty when he’s not. Just remember that woman who is raped or
false rape claim is not just your daughter/sister and mother BUT that man
accused (false or not) is your son/brother and father. It can be your son that gets accused- why? Because
two people flirted and had sex and she regrets it the next day? It can be your son that gets accused-why? Because
he didnt want to spend his life with that woman.
So next time
you claim RAPE when you see an article.
Just remember that she can be a full blown liar. Do we record sex? Do we keep messages?.......
I once had an
ex who really enjoyed being forced upon.
She really enjoyed the 50 Shades of Grey type of thing (not for me at
all)… some women have that kind of taste
which as I said is really not for me.. but she is another one that could easily
have said “I raped her”. With zero
evidence……
Society - Let’s face it: It’s screwed
If you are
grabbed off the street and pinned down being forced to have sex. This is rape.
If you have
your drink spike/drugged and struggle to walk but escorted home by someone you’ve
made no interest in at all which ends in sex while you are effectively paralysed. This is rape.
There is a
severe issue in society today and a lot of people are talking about.
With the likes
of political correctness
Big age gap
relationships
15 year old
sleeping with a 20 year old
Drinking too
much and sleeping with someone or making mistakes
The thing is,
the majority of this has actually been okay even in recent times. Now we like to think “we are above this” even
though we see it all the time. The
amount of men we know who were young and got with 15 year olds is much higher
than most think. Likewise for the amount
of one night stands people have had after a night of drinking or the big age
gap relationships.
We cuddle our
children so much and the second they make an adult decision we bash them for
it. One day if or when I may have a daughter
would I like her to come home at 15 with a 15 year old boyfriend or a 20 year
old who is working/driving and actually knows how to treat a woman?
Course I’d want
to kill him but truth be told… I’d
choose the 20 year old not the 15 year old who will only care about losing his
virginity, spending every second with his mates, earning nothing, not driving
and generally not the kind of lad I want near my daughter. Young women these days are growing up fast –
we can’t stop that.
I think the
times of society is broken. We like to
think our children are protected but when they grow older they struggle with
those mistakes. They struggle to manage
on their own. We are seeing more
suicides, more struggling young people, suicides over failing grades or not
getting in to University of choice.
Are we really
going to continue down this road? Is a 20 year old boy a pervert for dating a
15 year old? Really? When I was 20 I
knew a lot of lads that were doing this.
I thought at the time I was the unlucky one but with the way society is
today? I’m the lucky one. My first was a
bit older than me so I avoided all the young hassle.
As I said I
knew a lot of guys between 18-21 dating 15 year olds – this was the norm. People always say date someone your age, what
you mean the 18-21 year old women dating 25 year old men? Women have been always attracted to older
men. They work, earn money, drive and
generally are what they are. How many
women or our mothers did the same? A lot.
So it all goes back to that one word –
Society.
Don’t get me
wrong, I thrown upon anyone dating a 15 year old regardless of age even if he was
15. I think any relationship evolved
around underage sex is wrong even if it was a boy and girl both aged 15. BUT if they do have sex what are we going to
do? String them both up? Destroying both their lives? Or are we going to accept
that they are doing something normal especially in today’s world. With so much sex on TV, music and generally
everywhere. The 15 year olds are chasing
idles that show it all on social media.. reality TV shows and everything else
yet do we stop these people from advertising this? No.
I think we need
to protect both people from being released to the public until conviction but I
also think that maybe just maybe we need evidence. One persons word over another is that right?
I thought you’re innocent until proven guilty at least in this “democratic”
society it’s that way but it’s not. How
many of us are happy to brand a rapist? Without knowing all the facts. In a recent case we saw a threesome, the two
men had been accused of rape – turns out one had secretly recorded it and now
they are innocent. What will happen to
them for this? Should the men be shafted
for lack of respect? What about the woman?
Society.. lack
of self-respect… high on life.. low on etiquette. And we wonder why we are in
this situation (this goes for me as well).
Should there be a lie detector test where the person reporting rape is
simple asked “was you raped by this person”.
Likewise for the accused “did you rape this person”..
How many women
sleep with someone and regret it or afraid to have their boyfriend find out and
declare rape? I mean really?
We should not
be in this state where someone has to record sex to prove innocence. We should not be at this state where a rape
victim is forced to be quiet out of fear.
Damned if you do? Damned if you don’t?
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