I'm going to start this one off
with some questions and answer it as a human being not from a gender, race, age
or religion:
Q: You work 37 hours a
week full time job, you've had no time off to explore the world, have children,
holidays, relationships - you've effectively prioritized your career as some
do. Do you agree that someone who takes time off for whatever reason
to be given equal pay as you? Even
though your experience and perhaps even qualifications are better than the part
timer?
This is NOT a gender
related question, this is sticking to basics. I know plenty who have
taken a sabbatical right after College/University, I know plenty who
prioritized raising a family before they were 30. My question is aimed at
those who prioritized their careers - as I have done. My job came first
above relationships, kids, holidays, traveling or generally taking time out to
"doss".
The answer to that question
will 99% be - NO. And rightly so, why should someone who’s got less experience than me earn the same
wage. Problem is we live in a society of
delusion. If it doesn’t impact me it doesn’t
exist. I’m more than willing to admit
that the #GenderPayGap is real but how many react badly over this. If someone walked in to do my job would that
person know the decades of experience I have under my belt? I’ve already mentioned that I have never
taken more than my holiday allowance off in all those years. Since leaving School I’ve always had a Monday
to Friday cycle either for education or work.
I have never taken more than two weeks off – never.
A lot of people are sick to
death of those who choose not to work, to live off benefits, take a year
out to travel, raise a few kids but expect to immediately walk in to your
position and on your pay. I have no
problem with people making their life choices but do not expect to walk in to
my job and earn my wage regardless of what your gender is. . Many of us
see people travel the world through their own choices instead of working and
earning a career. And if they choose to do that - rightly so it's their
choice. Should they immediately be allowed to earn the same pay ? NO way
on earth. Not to mention how many
possible promotional jobs they will miss as a result of not working – and like
it or not long time off periods for whatever reason will impact on promotional
prospects.
Like it or not no matter which
profession you choose, no matter your gender, race, beliefs you should earn the
same amount as someone matching your experience and qualifications.
In my profession, I've had to
interview a lot of people. Only two were women out of about 50, is that a
gender issue? No. Fact of the matter is women don't generally have an
interest in IT, they don't - sorry it's true. Out of every woman I've
met, dated, been seeing or had serious relationships with very few shared the
same IT interests - this is fact to my own life. It has nothing to do
with gender, it's just the way it is.
Now what is #GenderPayGap
I tell you what the problem
is: Two people have the same experience, qualifications, same attitude
for the job but the employer chooses to promote and give a pay rise to the man
because of his gender - THIS is a #GenderPayGap problem. They’ve both put the same level of commitment
to the job but the woman is completely ignored and passed over. This is illegal and you MUST report it.
When I’ve done interviews I’m
usually able to tell straight away after reviewing all the job applications who
the preferred candidates are. I don’t
care about personal details I look straight at the experience and
qualifications. Once I’ve made my mind
up I then look through those details to see who’d be a good prospect moving
forward, after all I don’t want a technician that I train up to just move on
after 12 months. I don’t want some one
who perhaps will struggle to work with children and adults. How they cope with the job itself and the
work environment is crucial. At no stage
does their sex come in to the fray.
#Sexism
This is where a woman deserves
a position but again isn't given it as a result of her gender - this is sexism.
Promoting a man over a woman
due to his increased level of experience or qualifications is NOT a
sexism problem regardless of how much temper throwing tantrums will make you
think.
Q: A person is a doctor
because of his 10 years of experience and qualifications, but another person
who has only 5 years’ experience and half the qualifications is expecting the
same position. Who would you rather be a doctor the first one or the
second? You would choose the first one even though if it turned out to be
a man or a woman. I’d always prefer someone
with more experience and qualifications.
It’s also the reason why when people complain they demand the
manager. The manager would most likely
be in the job for years while the standard worker could have been in the
position for a few months.
Fact of the matter is, in ANY
professional job: the one who should get it does so through experience,
qualifications and the right attitude.
Any employer who chooses to pay
someone more because of their gender is guilty and SHOULD be reported. It’s illegal no matter what.
Why no one reports?
Strange this one, the ones
kicking up a fuss about "IT EXISTS" are the same ones who don't
suffer it and don’t know anyone who does.
They are simply throwing their support. Instead those who do
suffer it are too scared to raise their voice. You should be reporting it
- the end. If you don't report it does that make you just as guilty?
If you see a crime and don't report it what do you expect? Fact of the
matter is we need everyone to report it regardless. You may not like it but you are just as
responsible for the problem existing today as those employ men over women due
to their gender. I’ll give you a few
other examples:
There’s been an increase of
abuse popping up in the news lately. You
have those who suffer and those who witness it but don’t report it out of
fear. As a victim you must report it and
fight for those guilty to be prosecuted.
I completely feel for these people because they are the victims. What about those who sit idly by and watch it
unfold. Are they just as guilty as those
who are causing it? I’d say yes. If I witnessed a terrible crime or something
illegal and sat by allowing it to happen – I’m guilty too.
Sports - Apparently Women
and Men should earn the same
This one I will choose football
as a prime example. The Premier League is one of the biggest leagues in
the world - it just so happens it's the male league. I've
watched women football and I'm sorry to say but #equality is never going to
happen until women and men are allowed to compete in the same league. Do
we really want this? I'm all for it.
We will still have massive pay
gaps from the top teams to the bottom teams like we currently do. The
Premier League will still over pay players regardless.
Now for anyone that's not
watched football, I highly recommend it especially watching both women’s/men’s
football. You will see differences, physicality, strength and skill.
I leave that for YOU to
notice.
Then let's have a look at
viewers, this league again has one of the highest viewers, in demand and you
look at sponsorship deals, TV rights, advertisements- like it or not - not
everyone actually watches women's football. It's catching up but the fact
is it's got a long way to go. At my current work place we have an academy,
only with 10 girls vs 200 boys. This is a typical fact that women don't
naturally have an interest in football (sorry this is a fact) how many football
stadiums are full of women? how many pay for Sky/Virgin sports to watch it
? This has nothing to do with #equality this has to do with the way the
world is. I wish my other half had a massive interest in football, but
she doesn't. Her relative on the other hand is a maniac for it.
Gender problem? or just the way society is.
As I said, I'm all for both
sexes competing on the same playing field for any sport.
I will add this: World
Record Holder for the men’s 200 metres is 19.19s and the women’s 21.34s.
Are we happy to have both the
women and the men competing for the same thing? If you insist on fixing
#Equality you may find this will actually fix nothing. Should Bolt earn
the same as Florence? although doing the same thing one has obviously outperformed
the other. Performance pay? Competing in the same competitions? right alongside
men?
It's interesting so many have
called for #equal pay and #performance related - would that create equal pay -
nope.
People need to open their eyes,
fixing the gap is a real issue and should be reported but if there is a gap -
does it automatically mean it’s down to gender or perhaps that other person
deserves the better pay.
I have a team in my job, one
technician is paid better - he deserves to. His knowledge and experience
isn't just a typical technician but more of an engineer/networking.
Should he be paid the same as the other technician, even though their job
descriptions are not really different? even though he has better qualifications
and perhaps could easily go off to a better job? No they should not be equally
paid even though they are all the same sex. What would happen if the
lower paid technician was in fact a woman. Would she class it as
#EqualPayGap problems? I'd place a bet that she could very well feel that way
because she doesn’t see the big picture nor would she get to see the other
techies job description – nor his work load I assign him. I’d also add the fact the lower paid
technician doesn’t comprehend the importance of high priority jobs vs low
priority ones. His work drive I wouldn’t
say is fantastic even with additional training.
So not only would I rate the qualifications, experience higher but I’d
also add – drive/reliability.
Pay Gaps
Like it or not they exist, if
you are not promoted because you don't deserve it this is NOT a gender
related issue. If you don't get a pay rise because you are constantly
taking time off regardless of reasons - then again this has nothing to do with
gender. No one not even a woman manager
would pay someone a promotional job if they’re taking time off left right and
centre. Like it or not – that’s a
reliability personality trait which is important for professional jobs.
If you are passed along even
though you are the hardest worker, well sadly we do live in a world where
sometimes you have not simply kissed enough bum. I hate this term but it
exists. I've worked alongside few of these - simply because they kissed
the right butt. I've witnessed people get better positions because they
were selfish and didn't know loyalty... again I hate this but it exists.
So next time you cry
#GenderPayGap slow down and think - does this person regardless of sex deserve
the position?
Equality Note
This is a major issue and I've
covered this already before, I found a comment that claimed "women are
expected to be at home looking after the little ones". Yes they do,
do you want to know who expects that? some men AND some women - even the
law. Like it or not, men don't have near as many rights to their kids
compared to women - THIS is an #equality problem that #Feminists do NOTHING
about. I've not seen a single person fighting for equality in any way about
this comment. Why? Because the majority of those who claim they want it
actually want superiority - they are also a part of the problem. Fathers’ rights is something that’s an
equality issue and actually more severe than #GenderPayGap because in the eyes
of the law fathers’ don’t have equal rights.
Equality is about that -
EQUALITY
That means:
Any gender on equal quality is
entitled to the same promotion
Any gender is entitled to
custody of children
Any gender is entitled to
compete in any sport
Now technically the above is
true but also it's not. Women at the moment do not compete in the same
sport alongside men.
A man is not equally valuable
as a woman in regards to custody of children.
A woman who prioritizes having
kids isn't going to be given that promotion because like it or not she wouldn't
be as experienced as a full time 10 year worker even if that worker is another
woman.
Next time, you cry
#GenderPayGap slow down and think (yes I said this but I will say it again).
Equality really does mean that,
are you fully prepared for it? You may find that the end result won’t
actually change much. Bolt as a result of his world record time (for men
and women) deserves to be paid more as a result of his performance. If a
woman had beaten that time, I'd say she must get better pay. Likewise in
society.
Having tweeted a lot of women
in regards to this the majority of responses are usually the same "I'm
just supporting this because it exists, even though it doesn't impact me nor do
I know anyone who suffers from it"....... but I do get a few who “It
impacts me or I know some who suffer it but not going to say anything”. Interesting how many have sat down and
watched something illegal let alone something that impacts them. If you’re not willing to report it you are
too a part of the problem just as much as those who claim it doesn’t exist – it
does.
Tuesday 23 August 2016
Wednesday 17 August 2016
Personal: Why No Man's Sky is fresh air
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No Man's Sky
I'm going to start off with - this game is almost exactly what I have been after.
Let's get the negatives underway (with a mention that this is NOT a global budget game but instead a typical Sandbox low budget from a simple idea).
No building - This game let's face it is a MineCraft idea, there have been plenty.
Solus
Ark
Engineers/Medieval Engineers
My steam is full of them, my wish list is even bigger and some have great potential but badly made.
Very little tutorial at least for the "Explorer" option which I cant seem to undo but it still gives some what a guideline.
Glitches and issues - although I've barely had any on PC, I've had to reload the game a few times after it crashing right after running it from Steam.
Minimal story but perhaps this isn't a negative. Some of the greatest stories we ever had gave us so very little, gave us hints, gave us that moment of calm about a "legend". My favourite programs did it - Star Wars gave us the Jedi and the Force, Babylon 5 gave us the shadows.
This game gives us huge hints about a previous civilisation.
So the positives and there are plenty of them.
So much to explore:
So on this one planet which has it's own life, orbit, problems to deal with, survival and mining.
Exploring
I honestly thought each world would be shrunk in some way - limited. Instead I managed to explore a very large area only to finally get in to my ship and realise.. it really was only a tiny area on this huge planet. Think MineCraft style where the world seems endless - Good luck in spending hours and hours walking around this globe. I once managed to get to a outpost which was a 4 hour walk (got there by ship in a matter of moments).
Space exploring
Again I honestly thought each system would be small.. tiny.. and rather pathetic. Instead it would again take you hours to get to a planet through normal speed. Space is vast and makes you feel like this is REAL space. And this is just the one system, when you get to another and see the galactic map...... you realise how big the universe is (kind of makes you think our planet is really pathetically small).
Mining
A big focus, its interesting the whiners about this part - any game build on gathering resources is always going to be a grind fest or a major focus. Just like MineCraft, just like the Ark.
This game however balances, you can get the majority of resources pretty quickly, you can fill up your inventory even quicker. I can't count how many times I went in to a cave looking for valuable ores only to get lost for about an hour but come out with my ship and my inventory fully stocked up full of the valuable ores not just average worth stuff.
Space mining
Oh yes, you can do this although I feel you can stock up much quicker it does offer (for me) more risk. You get chased down by a bunch of ships and because I have yet to kit out my ship with improvements - repair ores have kept me well and truly alive.
Earning Units (credits)
This is very simple and I find I can easily make 1 million in a short amount of time. The hardest part seems to be being near the trade market link and mining spots.
Action
Theres some action, not over the top but not exactly non existent. Space fights are fun, so far I've only encountered a few creatures that had to die but mainly these silly sentinels that attack. Although one time I did find a sentinel animal (only once).
NPCs/Outposts/Ancient areas (forgot the term for these)
There are plenty of these about, they help give valuable items, blueprints, improve your relationship standings with aliens and languages.
Animal Exploring
This one, I only figured out how to do last night (even after 25+ hours of game player......)
Another example why this game has plenty to do, plenty to offer and similar to minecraft you can just carry on as much as you want.
Multiplayer - this is probably a blessing in disguise. The main reason why I don't play Ark on the main servers is because some one can walk along and destroy not your five hours of work but destroy your months worth of constructions. Oh Hi "Kill" .. "Dead".
This game restores my value that games like this can work. I want to play my own little universe and not constantly watch my shoulder for people. It's actually why I played Ark on my own server for a long time. BUT I will admit, it would be nice to be able to team up easily enough to earn some dosh but then again... we are not exactly building are we?
So what's the aim? Well to enjoy it. It's either for you or it's not. If you purchased this game under a pretence that it wasn't effectively going to be a Space MineCraft without the building.. well that's your own fault. I had no high value of this game, I didn't watch endless amount of videos (just some screenshots, some bio and trailers) but this game isn't disappointing.
I really enjoy it.
Worth the cost? considering how much MineCraft cost and let's face it, you wasn't being linked up to a server. And are we also paying for future DLC?
I'm happy with the cost, I know some are not but considering the scale of this game? considering I've already played this more than the last COD/BF and a handful of games already?
Considering the only games that tend to offer value seems to be only the strategy games where it takes 30+ hours to finish a standard game anyway.
Then again if you don't enjoy this kind of game, why buy it straight up? Once upon a time before social media if you purchased a game you didn't enjoy, it was tough luck - you can trade it in if you wish. Likewise if you go to see a movie.
So the future?
In all honesty with games like this you always see huge potential. One thing I don't enjoy is the strong focus on staying alive, this game makes it simple. To survive you have two elements to regenerate your self and those resources are everywhere. You don't need to carry 5 stacks of food and hide in shelter every five minutes. Even travelling in a cave seems to cut down what you need to survive.
Likewise for ship fuel, there are plenty of resources available and the hardest one being warping - again once you unlock the blueprints you can make these easily.
So again the future -
Building/Home World
I'd like to see the ability to build an outpost perhaps even make a "Home World" which you can easily return to quickly and easily. Can you imagine building a facility? As a result of creating a "Home World" that one is instantly untouchable either the planet or your building location?
Although I've yet to see it, I'd like to see bigger combat engagements primarily with ships/fleets.
Control the PVP - frankly I'm not a fan of PVP, I think a game that focus's on that too much creates a game that's not good for new people. This is game I may spend a few weeks on or few months but for some one that lives on it? very little competition. Maybe even create a galaxy where competition is high?
Have the ability to invite friends to your location and have that friend's location shown on the galactic map with an arrow marker/selector.
This game has sold well, although it's getting mixed reviews - funny thing is half of those bad reviews are still playing it. Reminds me of Pokémon Go - mixed reviews yet I've seen endless amount of people down the town, beach and everywhere playing it. The company must be laughing for such a "mixed" review game and a low cost game.
The company have also been very active and quick to work on all fixes. How many companies force you to wait? only have to look at Division which had a huge budget with a big company behind it - taking forever for bug fixes, creating new bugs, not bothering to fix basics, nerfing, ruining the DZ to make it very difficult for low players/small groups.
Would I recommend it? YES but make sure this is the type of game you will enjoy. Don't give it an hour, give it 20. Try and explore every aspect of this game. Chase after the language, outposts, animals, explore space, don't get tied to one ship or tool, planet etc.
Enjoy it, be relaxed, don't rush it (probably why some people don't enjoy it, it's not really built to be rushed and get max "level" or cash over night).
No Man's Sky
I'm going to start off with - this game is almost exactly what I have been after.
Let's get the negatives underway (with a mention that this is NOT a global budget game but instead a typical Sandbox low budget from a simple idea).
No building - This game let's face it is a MineCraft idea, there have been plenty.
Solus
Ark
Engineers/Medieval Engineers
My steam is full of them, my wish list is even bigger and some have great potential but badly made.
Very little tutorial at least for the "Explorer" option which I cant seem to undo but it still gives some what a guideline.
Glitches and issues - although I've barely had any on PC, I've had to reload the game a few times after it crashing right after running it from Steam.
Minimal story but perhaps this isn't a negative. Some of the greatest stories we ever had gave us so very little, gave us hints, gave us that moment of calm about a "legend". My favourite programs did it - Star Wars gave us the Jedi and the Force, Babylon 5 gave us the shadows.
This game gives us huge hints about a previous civilisation.
So the positives and there are plenty of them.
So much to explore:
- Planets
- Space
- Endless
So on this one planet which has it's own life, orbit, problems to deal with, survival and mining.
Exploring
I honestly thought each world would be shrunk in some way - limited. Instead I managed to explore a very large area only to finally get in to my ship and realise.. it really was only a tiny area on this huge planet. Think MineCraft style where the world seems endless - Good luck in spending hours and hours walking around this globe. I once managed to get to a outpost which was a 4 hour walk (got there by ship in a matter of moments).
Space exploring
Again I honestly thought each system would be small.. tiny.. and rather pathetic. Instead it would again take you hours to get to a planet through normal speed. Space is vast and makes you feel like this is REAL space. And this is just the one system, when you get to another and see the galactic map...... you realise how big the universe is (kind of makes you think our planet is really pathetically small).
Mining
A big focus, its interesting the whiners about this part - any game build on gathering resources is always going to be a grind fest or a major focus. Just like MineCraft, just like the Ark.
This game however balances, you can get the majority of resources pretty quickly, you can fill up your inventory even quicker. I can't count how many times I went in to a cave looking for valuable ores only to get lost for about an hour but come out with my ship and my inventory fully stocked up full of the valuable ores not just average worth stuff.
Space mining
Oh yes, you can do this although I feel you can stock up much quicker it does offer (for me) more risk. You get chased down by a bunch of ships and because I have yet to kit out my ship with improvements - repair ores have kept me well and truly alive.
Earning Units (credits)
This is very simple and I find I can easily make 1 million in a short amount of time. The hardest part seems to be being near the trade market link and mining spots.
Action
Theres some action, not over the top but not exactly non existent. Space fights are fun, so far I've only encountered a few creatures that had to die but mainly these silly sentinels that attack. Although one time I did find a sentinel animal (only once).
NPCs/Outposts/Ancient areas (forgot the term for these)
There are plenty of these about, they help give valuable items, blueprints, improve your relationship standings with aliens and languages.
Animal Exploring
This one, I only figured out how to do last night (even after 25+ hours of game player......)
Another example why this game has plenty to do, plenty to offer and similar to minecraft you can just carry on as much as you want.
Multiplayer - this is probably a blessing in disguise. The main reason why I don't play Ark on the main servers is because some one can walk along and destroy not your five hours of work but destroy your months worth of constructions. Oh Hi "Kill" .. "Dead".
This game restores my value that games like this can work. I want to play my own little universe and not constantly watch my shoulder for people. It's actually why I played Ark on my own server for a long time. BUT I will admit, it would be nice to be able to team up easily enough to earn some dosh but then again... we are not exactly building are we?
So what's the aim? Well to enjoy it. It's either for you or it's not. If you purchased this game under a pretence that it wasn't effectively going to be a Space MineCraft without the building.. well that's your own fault. I had no high value of this game, I didn't watch endless amount of videos (just some screenshots, some bio and trailers) but this game isn't disappointing.
I really enjoy it.
Worth the cost? considering how much MineCraft cost and let's face it, you wasn't being linked up to a server. And are we also paying for future DLC?
I'm happy with the cost, I know some are not but considering the scale of this game? considering I've already played this more than the last COD/BF and a handful of games already?
Considering the only games that tend to offer value seems to be only the strategy games where it takes 30+ hours to finish a standard game anyway.
Then again if you don't enjoy this kind of game, why buy it straight up? Once upon a time before social media if you purchased a game you didn't enjoy, it was tough luck - you can trade it in if you wish. Likewise if you go to see a movie.
So the future?
In all honesty with games like this you always see huge potential. One thing I don't enjoy is the strong focus on staying alive, this game makes it simple. To survive you have two elements to regenerate your self and those resources are everywhere. You don't need to carry 5 stacks of food and hide in shelter every five minutes. Even travelling in a cave seems to cut down what you need to survive.
Likewise for ship fuel, there are plenty of resources available and the hardest one being warping - again once you unlock the blueprints you can make these easily.
So again the future -
Building/Home World
I'd like to see the ability to build an outpost perhaps even make a "Home World" which you can easily return to quickly and easily. Can you imagine building a facility? As a result of creating a "Home World" that one is instantly untouchable either the planet or your building location?
Although I've yet to see it, I'd like to see bigger combat engagements primarily with ships/fleets.
Control the PVP - frankly I'm not a fan of PVP, I think a game that focus's on that too much creates a game that's not good for new people. This is game I may spend a few weeks on or few months but for some one that lives on it? very little competition. Maybe even create a galaxy where competition is high?
Have the ability to invite friends to your location and have that friend's location shown on the galactic map with an arrow marker/selector.
This game has sold well, although it's getting mixed reviews - funny thing is half of those bad reviews are still playing it. Reminds me of Pokémon Go - mixed reviews yet I've seen endless amount of people down the town, beach and everywhere playing it. The company must be laughing for such a "mixed" review game and a low cost game.
The company have also been very active and quick to work on all fixes. How many companies force you to wait? only have to look at Division which had a huge budget with a big company behind it - taking forever for bug fixes, creating new bugs, not bothering to fix basics, nerfing, ruining the DZ to make it very difficult for low players/small groups.
Would I recommend it? YES but make sure this is the type of game you will enjoy. Don't give it an hour, give it 20. Try and explore every aspect of this game. Chase after the language, outposts, animals, explore space, don't get tied to one ship or tool, planet etc.
Enjoy it, be relaxed, don't rush it (probably why some people don't enjoy it, it's not really built to be rushed and get max "level" or cash over night).
Wednesday 10 August 2016
Personal: #HarassedAtWork
So the trending #HarassedAtWork
I'm going to start off by saying - This happens regardless of sex, regardless of sexual orientation, regardless of colour, race or religion.
As a guy I have been a victim of #HarassedAtWork so let's look at examples of what I have suffered:
Now all of that is #HarassedAtWork or sexual harassment - at least in the eyes of women.
BEFORE you put words in to my mouth, I don't think it's appropriate for a man to touch a woman, tell her she'd be a good ride or tell her she's a typical woman.
What I will say is though some one telling me I look nice is NOT harassment. If it's some one I don't like, I've made clear I don't like then.. that's a touchy subject. The last person to say this to me was our receptionist. She is a lovely lady and doesn't have a bad bone in her, so is this an "appropriate" thing to say? Well it's nothing.
There is nothing wrong with giving some one a compliment, some times we all need it, some times we can feel like we're working so hard and a nice thing said your way can brighten us up.
Ask your self this, do you never want compliments? Why do we make such an effort in our selves? In our looks? It's to get noticed, it's to make our selves feel better, its so people think that you make an effort.
If you really don't care about "opinions" to your self, don't make an effort and do what you have to do. I've seen the same women who claim they don't like opinions then go all giddy when it's a certain type of guy who gives that compliment. It's not sexist, it's not harassment - it's a compliment. There is not a fine line between the two.
If some one said the kind of line that is wrong e.g. "You look like a great ride" that is wrong. Some one telling you are looking nice today is NOT harassment. Unless you are telling me when you're single and looking and a really attractive guy tells you that - its not harassment but it is when it's some one old enough to be your dad? - Sorry but like I said before - HYPOCRISY.
For my self I learnt a backbone and I described this to the other half while she was moaning about her girl friends. I said there is a reason you women moan about each other behind backs. It's because us guys were all like the Inbetweeners. We tore in to each other face to face, joked, banter galore and even anything innocent would be criticised.
Women on the other hand society has created to never be honest to each other. It's also why men are not honest to women. Yes you're bum doesn't look big in that dress. Yes you're hair looks fantastic. Yes you are moaning too much about petty things.
Fact of the matter is feminine types tend to be the above. It's true isn't it? I've known a lot of women very closely over the years and I rarely ever meet one that "says it how it is" in fact my other half who I adore so much and I love her for that quality - "say it how it is". You only have to watch reality TV shows to see the typical male and the typical female - it's all true. It's why reality TV does so well because we can all relate to it. I don't watch it but the other half does and I've seen enough to think - it's all true for day to day lives.
Men who go too far
There are men who go too far, some do it because they get away with it, some do it because in their mind it's acceptable, some do it because women enjoy it. These are all facts and frankly it all needs to change. Society needs to change.
We need everyone to say "That's wrong", including men like me.
If a woman pinches my bum I should say DONT DO THAT and instantly report it.
Likewise for a woman being touched inappropriately.
There are more women who suffer from it more and I will never dispute that fact. BUT the important thing is to ACT on real cases. I once had an argument with a woman who told me "Don't compliment, just ask her out". That's not how you make a date, first you flirt to see if the person will say yes then you ask.
It makes me wonder if people flirt any more or just use Online Dating Websites because they have lost the touch to flirt face to face.
Grow a backbone
This is important, just as important as sorting out sexual harassment in my view. We are fast losing a backbone in this country. Where one person says something and it instantly causes uproar. Even comedy is fast becoming controlled. Is this what we really want?
Where a guy can't be told, you look nice in that suit? A woman can't be told, you look nice in that dress?
I'm sorry but grow a back bone. There is a difference between a compliment and harassment. As a guy I have given compliments and I'm always able to tell if she is giving me the "Sod off look" and usually on a night out not at work. Those I give compliments to - give them to me first. Should society be like that? Where I have to be careful about anything nice to say?
Friendships at Work
Like it or not work is not just work, how many of us have friends at work? grow relationships at work? lifetime partners? marriages? at work. I my self have exs from work over the years, I've made some great friends from WORK. So we can socialise on a normal level and create those bonds?
If you feel that something is inappropriate that's when you say so. It's usually quite easy to see if some one is willing to get close to your or shall we say create a personal relationship with you.
This is NOT a "Ignore harassment blog"
It's not, regardless of what some over reacting people may think.
If a guy touched a womans bum who made no advances or interest (even though they too would be harassment) then a man should not be touching her in that way. On the other hand, if I saw some one here upset (a woman) I'd put my hand on her shoulder and offer to be an ear. I wouldn't do that for anyone but I would do it. Is that sexual harassment? No it's not.
If a guy or a woman touched some one sexually - they deserve the book thrown at them. I have never laid my fingers on another woman who said no. I've never touched some one in that way who I didn't know let alone some one that I would think may turn me down. Every woman I've ever touched in that way lead to a personal relationship.
Problem is though will we stop forming those relationships without dating sites? We've all done it or will do it at some point - create a personal relationship at work unless you are not interested at all or taken. After all as a human being we all crave attention, companionship - it's instinct and in our genetics as human beings.
So what we need to see is the book thrown at real cases of sexual harassment, bosses told what they can or cant do. What I don't want to see is I'm here as a friend, being accused of sexual harassment for saying "You look nice today" - THIS is not aimed at just women but for men.
I like compliments, I know many who do. I don't want them to stop, it's being "NICE" not "I want to get in your pants"....
We also need society to be more #Equal because a woman who demands others to empower over men are just as guilty as sexist men who believe in superiority over women. You either want equality for all or not - there is no grey area.
I will never deny that women suffer from it more than men. Having had plenty of friends who are men and women, there are large differences in the way "we are". That means we all need to change.
Women need to stop being sexist.
Men need to stop being sexist.
At the moment society wont change, it hasn't done for decades. It's a mentality change, our kids need to be brought up differently and so do their kids.
As a man I watched my mother be expected to be a "house wife" and that is all she was. And my old man was the guy who went to work every day and came home, he wanted dinner ready and to relax. My mother would raise up the kids (two sisters I have BTW) and treated us all differently.
There was the divorce battle, my father left my mother for a younger woman.
I refuse to be like him
I've never raised a hand to woman
I've always opened the door
I've always preferred to pay
I've always tried to be just a gentleman
I've never expected anything
All I ever wanted when I was growing up was to find one lovely woman and settle. I was never that jock that wanted to sleep around.
Weird thing was, I was the one that found women didn't want to settle, didn't want anything serious, just wanted to have fun and nothing more.
How many women would be happy to always pay?
How many women would hold the door open for me?
How many women would be a "lady" to be respectable?
How many women wouldn't expect anything?
It works both ways. This isn't about telling women to stop reporting harassment. Personally I think anyone being harassed should say so straight away. If it's too much - report it. We all have phones, record it. People should be punished but as mentioned before I don't want to see us all suffer or become "Online dating only" because people are too afraid to be nice.
There is once again a difference between harassment to being friendly. Just like there is a difference between being "over friendly" and being friends.
When you see things like this:
"ur opinion of women's appearance is not appropriate, moreso at work Women dont get dressed 4 u Why u looking n not working? "
You know it's one of the reasons why 1: People don't report out of being accused its nothing (when it is serious) and 2: Actual innocent cases are pushed forward (when it is nothing).
Question: If you was single and fancied some one, if he said you look nice would YOU accuse that person of sexual harassment? No of course not which is again #Hypocrisy
Question: If you purposely wore a short skirt, low cut top because you know you're boss is male. Is that right? I don't have an issue with what women wear although I do think it's not "professional" or appropriate to be wearing the shortest skirt and lowest cut top possible.
I know women who have openly admitted to doing this to get jobs. Is that right? #Hypocrisy Are all women 100% happy if it was a woman interviewing them all the time? I know three women at the top of my head right now that wouldn't like that. #Hypocrisy
I knew two women some time ago who purposely set out to sleep with their bosses for promotions.
As I said - Society is the issue here.
If you proclaim everything is the fault of "men" you are apart of the problem with society.
If you proclaim everything is harassment you are apart of the problem with society.
All the above is just as bad as those that claim "It's not" last I checked - Innocent until proven guilty?
What some people don't realise is there ARE those women who will do false accusations to get money. I've known a few of these as well, who didn't get what they wanted and were only caught out because they sent text messages. If it wasn't for those messages the men would have lost their jobs over two silly women who wanted more.
What about them? What about the married men who have families getting FALSE accusations thrown their way?
This is why - this is a sensitive subject and needs society to change. We will come to the stage where every office is covered by CCTV. So real actual harassment can be charged. So the law isn't time wasting on silly little things like "You look nice today".
You should never be afraid to report things or stand up for your self, this isn't about stopping that. It's about doing the right thing - regardless what it is. You only have to look at twitter to see REAL victims of harassment. Then you see the ones that simply are NOT harassment cases but a few women who just want to "empower" them selves over men.
I'm going to start off by saying - This happens regardless of sex, regardless of sexual orientation, regardless of colour, race or religion.
As a guy I have been a victim of #HarassedAtWork so let's look at examples of what I have suffered:
- "Love a man in suit" gazing upon me (when I wear a new suit)
- Pinched bum (come to think of it this has happened twice).
- Typical Male comments - this has been long, constant and I don't think I can go a month without hearing it. We all hear them, we all know them.
- You're male you don't understand.
- "I'm horny, not had a man for a while, need a good riding" from one colleague.
- "You look really nice today"
Now all of that is #HarassedAtWork or sexual harassment - at least in the eyes of women.
BEFORE you put words in to my mouth, I don't think it's appropriate for a man to touch a woman, tell her she'd be a good ride or tell her she's a typical woman.
What I will say is though some one telling me I look nice is NOT harassment. If it's some one I don't like, I've made clear I don't like then.. that's a touchy subject. The last person to say this to me was our receptionist. She is a lovely lady and doesn't have a bad bone in her, so is this an "appropriate" thing to say? Well it's nothing.
There is nothing wrong with giving some one a compliment, some times we all need it, some times we can feel like we're working so hard and a nice thing said your way can brighten us up.
Ask your self this, do you never want compliments? Why do we make such an effort in our selves? In our looks? It's to get noticed, it's to make our selves feel better, its so people think that you make an effort.
If you really don't care about "opinions" to your self, don't make an effort and do what you have to do. I've seen the same women who claim they don't like opinions then go all giddy when it's a certain type of guy who gives that compliment. It's not sexist, it's not harassment - it's a compliment. There is not a fine line between the two.
If some one said the kind of line that is wrong e.g. "You look like a great ride" that is wrong. Some one telling you are looking nice today is NOT harassment. Unless you are telling me when you're single and looking and a really attractive guy tells you that - its not harassment but it is when it's some one old enough to be your dad? - Sorry but like I said before - HYPOCRISY.
For my self I learnt a backbone and I described this to the other half while she was moaning about her girl friends. I said there is a reason you women moan about each other behind backs. It's because us guys were all like the Inbetweeners. We tore in to each other face to face, joked, banter galore and even anything innocent would be criticised.
Women on the other hand society has created to never be honest to each other. It's also why men are not honest to women. Yes you're bum doesn't look big in that dress. Yes you're hair looks fantastic. Yes you are moaning too much about petty things.
Fact of the matter is feminine types tend to be the above. It's true isn't it? I've known a lot of women very closely over the years and I rarely ever meet one that "says it how it is" in fact my other half who I adore so much and I love her for that quality - "say it how it is". You only have to watch reality TV shows to see the typical male and the typical female - it's all true. It's why reality TV does so well because we can all relate to it. I don't watch it but the other half does and I've seen enough to think - it's all true for day to day lives.
Men who go too far
There are men who go too far, some do it because they get away with it, some do it because in their mind it's acceptable, some do it because women enjoy it. These are all facts and frankly it all needs to change. Society needs to change.
We need everyone to say "That's wrong", including men like me.
If a woman pinches my bum I should say DONT DO THAT and instantly report it.
Likewise for a woman being touched inappropriately.
There are more women who suffer from it more and I will never dispute that fact. BUT the important thing is to ACT on real cases. I once had an argument with a woman who told me "Don't compliment, just ask her out". That's not how you make a date, first you flirt to see if the person will say yes then you ask.
It makes me wonder if people flirt any more or just use Online Dating Websites because they have lost the touch to flirt face to face.
Grow a backbone
This is important, just as important as sorting out sexual harassment in my view. We are fast losing a backbone in this country. Where one person says something and it instantly causes uproar. Even comedy is fast becoming controlled. Is this what we really want?
Where a guy can't be told, you look nice in that suit? A woman can't be told, you look nice in that dress?
I'm sorry but grow a back bone. There is a difference between a compliment and harassment. As a guy I have given compliments and I'm always able to tell if she is giving me the "Sod off look" and usually on a night out not at work. Those I give compliments to - give them to me first. Should society be like that? Where I have to be careful about anything nice to say?
Friendships at Work
Like it or not work is not just work, how many of us have friends at work? grow relationships at work? lifetime partners? marriages? at work. I my self have exs from work over the years, I've made some great friends from WORK. So we can socialise on a normal level and create those bonds?
If you feel that something is inappropriate that's when you say so. It's usually quite easy to see if some one is willing to get close to your or shall we say create a personal relationship with you.
This is NOT a "Ignore harassment blog"
It's not, regardless of what some over reacting people may think.
If a guy touched a womans bum who made no advances or interest (even though they too would be harassment) then a man should not be touching her in that way. On the other hand, if I saw some one here upset (a woman) I'd put my hand on her shoulder and offer to be an ear. I wouldn't do that for anyone but I would do it. Is that sexual harassment? No it's not.
If a guy or a woman touched some one sexually - they deserve the book thrown at them. I have never laid my fingers on another woman who said no. I've never touched some one in that way who I didn't know let alone some one that I would think may turn me down. Every woman I've ever touched in that way lead to a personal relationship.
Problem is though will we stop forming those relationships without dating sites? We've all done it or will do it at some point - create a personal relationship at work unless you are not interested at all or taken. After all as a human being we all crave attention, companionship - it's instinct and in our genetics as human beings.
So what we need to see is the book thrown at real cases of sexual harassment, bosses told what they can or cant do. What I don't want to see is I'm here as a friend, being accused of sexual harassment for saying "You look nice today" - THIS is not aimed at just women but for men.
I like compliments, I know many who do. I don't want them to stop, it's being "NICE" not "I want to get in your pants"....
We also need society to be more #Equal because a woman who demands others to empower over men are just as guilty as sexist men who believe in superiority over women. You either want equality for all or not - there is no grey area.
I will never deny that women suffer from it more than men. Having had plenty of friends who are men and women, there are large differences in the way "we are". That means we all need to change.
Women need to stop being sexist.
Men need to stop being sexist.
At the moment society wont change, it hasn't done for decades. It's a mentality change, our kids need to be brought up differently and so do their kids.
As a man I watched my mother be expected to be a "house wife" and that is all she was. And my old man was the guy who went to work every day and came home, he wanted dinner ready and to relax. My mother would raise up the kids (two sisters I have BTW) and treated us all differently.
There was the divorce battle, my father left my mother for a younger woman.
I refuse to be like him
I've never raised a hand to woman
I've always opened the door
I've always preferred to pay
I've always tried to be just a gentleman
I've never expected anything
All I ever wanted when I was growing up was to find one lovely woman and settle. I was never that jock that wanted to sleep around.
Weird thing was, I was the one that found women didn't want to settle, didn't want anything serious, just wanted to have fun and nothing more.
How many women would be happy to always pay?
How many women would hold the door open for me?
How many women would be a "lady" to be respectable?
How many women wouldn't expect anything?
It works both ways. This isn't about telling women to stop reporting harassment. Personally I think anyone being harassed should say so straight away. If it's too much - report it. We all have phones, record it. People should be punished but as mentioned before I don't want to see us all suffer or become "Online dating only" because people are too afraid to be nice.
There is once again a difference between harassment to being friendly. Just like there is a difference between being "over friendly" and being friends.
When you see things like this:
"ur opinion of women's appearance is not appropriate, moreso at work Women dont get dressed 4 u Why u looking n not working? "
You know it's one of the reasons why 1: People don't report out of being accused its nothing (when it is serious) and 2: Actual innocent cases are pushed forward (when it is nothing).
Question: If you was single and fancied some one, if he said you look nice would YOU accuse that person of sexual harassment? No of course not which is again #Hypocrisy
Question: If you purposely wore a short skirt, low cut top because you know you're boss is male. Is that right? I don't have an issue with what women wear although I do think it's not "professional" or appropriate to be wearing the shortest skirt and lowest cut top possible.
I know women who have openly admitted to doing this to get jobs. Is that right? #Hypocrisy Are all women 100% happy if it was a woman interviewing them all the time? I know three women at the top of my head right now that wouldn't like that. #Hypocrisy
I knew two women some time ago who purposely set out to sleep with their bosses for promotions.
As I said - Society is the issue here.
If you proclaim everything is the fault of "men" you are apart of the problem with society.
If you proclaim everything is harassment you are apart of the problem with society.
All the above is just as bad as those that claim "It's not" last I checked - Innocent until proven guilty?
What some people don't realise is there ARE those women who will do false accusations to get money. I've known a few of these as well, who didn't get what they wanted and were only caught out because they sent text messages. If it wasn't for those messages the men would have lost their jobs over two silly women who wanted more.
What about them? What about the married men who have families getting FALSE accusations thrown their way?
This is why - this is a sensitive subject and needs society to change. We will come to the stage where every office is covered by CCTV. So real actual harassment can be charged. So the law isn't time wasting on silly little things like "You look nice today".
You should never be afraid to report things or stand up for your self, this isn't about stopping that. It's about doing the right thing - regardless what it is. You only have to look at twitter to see REAL victims of harassment. Then you see the ones that simply are NOT harassment cases but a few women who just want to "empower" them selves over men.
Friday 5 August 2016
Personal: The racism row
Here we go again, the youth, the students and the teenage hormones protesting against racism.
NOT
Let's face it, they are not protesting racism. If I witnessed some one being racist I would actually pull them up on it. In 21st UK it doesn't belong in society - The End.
So America has severe racism issues, of course they do - certain states are not friendly. Certain parts are still 20th century thinking. That is a mentality that needs to change and can only be resolved by those at the top of America.
Racism is still an issue in Schools - it is, no matter how small.
Racism is still an issue in the UK - it is and frankly this isn't just aimed at the black community. I've seen "White Boy" racist chants "Typical English" racist chants. What happens to them? Nothing.
So here we go again instead of fixing the REAL issues in this country let's lay down in a road causing chaos.
The attitude of people supporting this protest isn't about preventing racism it's about supporting what they have caused - shutting down traffic. Well Done for that one, you've done it. Have you done anything for racism? No. Have you raised awareness of racism? No. Have you made hundreds of people think about racism in the UK? No.
Well done for being idiots, wasting your own time which I am sure you have plenty of.
Want to make the nation aware of it, organise a real protest, demand the government take action. Tell the government how to fix the problems in this Country.
If there is a supremacy street (White, Black, Pink, Brown, Blue - any colour) - That street deserves to be shutdown not our motorways. There ARE certain parts of London that as a White Caucasion Englishman I will NOT visit. I will actually be worried for my life. Is it because of money? no. It's because of my RACE.
Streets like that have no place in 21st Century UK.
Why don't the protesters chain them selves to THOSE streets? Because it doesn't fix the problem and it's easier to do it on a busy motorway to piss people off.
Why don't the protesters sit down and talk about the previous generation of race hate? Why don't they advise Hip Hop singers to stop using the N word and pushing for their own supremacy?
The N word is ridiculously over used by a lot of people especially the same types of singers. Why doesn't anything get done about that? That is teaching the young generation to use the N word (although innocently) it's still teaching them to use it.
#Hypocrisy
#Moronic
This is why I feel #BLM #BlackLivesMatter and now this latest protest is FAILING #racism
It's not fixing anything and not making a difference which is why these students, these jobless young people are nothing more than a Kevin and Perry throwing a tantrum with their own parents.
Well done you hormone driven youths.
NOT
Let's face it, they are not protesting racism. If I witnessed some one being racist I would actually pull them up on it. In 21st UK it doesn't belong in society - The End.
So America has severe racism issues, of course they do - certain states are not friendly. Certain parts are still 20th century thinking. That is a mentality that needs to change and can only be resolved by those at the top of America.
Racism is still an issue in Schools - it is, no matter how small.
Racism is still an issue in the UK - it is and frankly this isn't just aimed at the black community. I've seen "White Boy" racist chants "Typical English" racist chants. What happens to them? Nothing.
So here we go again instead of fixing the REAL issues in this country let's lay down in a road causing chaos.
- Let's prevent people from getting to work to earn their money and put food on the table for their families.
- Let's prevent people going on holiday, missing their flights after spending hundreds and thousands on their hard earned holidays with the family.
- Lets cut deadlines for deliveries (having needed next day delivery on items to bring an IT system online for all 1600+ Students and 200+ Staff - it's no laughing matter).
The attitude of people supporting this protest isn't about preventing racism it's about supporting what they have caused - shutting down traffic. Well Done for that one, you've done it. Have you done anything for racism? No. Have you raised awareness of racism? No. Have you made hundreds of people think about racism in the UK? No.
Well done for being idiots, wasting your own time which I am sure you have plenty of.
Want to make the nation aware of it, organise a real protest, demand the government take action. Tell the government how to fix the problems in this Country.
If there is a supremacy street (White, Black, Pink, Brown, Blue - any colour) - That street deserves to be shutdown not our motorways. There ARE certain parts of London that as a White Caucasion Englishman I will NOT visit. I will actually be worried for my life. Is it because of money? no. It's because of my RACE.
Streets like that have no place in 21st Century UK.
Why don't the protesters chain them selves to THOSE streets? Because it doesn't fix the problem and it's easier to do it on a busy motorway to piss people off.
Why don't the protesters sit down and talk about the previous generation of race hate? Why don't they advise Hip Hop singers to stop using the N word and pushing for their own supremacy?
The N word is ridiculously over used by a lot of people especially the same types of singers. Why doesn't anything get done about that? That is teaching the young generation to use the N word (although innocently) it's still teaching them to use it.
#Hypocrisy
#Moronic
This is why I feel #BLM #BlackLivesMatter and now this latest protest is FAILING #racism
It's not fixing anything and not making a difference which is why these students, these jobless young people are nothing more than a Kevin and Perry throwing a tantrum with their own parents.
Well done you hormone driven youths.
Wednesday 3 August 2016
Personal: Twitter/Feminism/Hypocrisy/Women
Follow me on Twitter
The recent issue I am witnessing being - Sexism and Twitter is public (like it or not).
Public with a touch of Sexism
Twitter like it or not isn't having a discreet conversation with some one unless you send messages. If you tweet, you are open to having responses. I recently made one which the individual obviously didn't like. The original tweet was particularly aimed at men, most likely a guy who had been controlling. If you are stupid enough to get with a guy like that, sorry to say but you have little sympathy. I've had friends who didn't listen to advice and as a result either had abortions or became single mothers while spending a long time slating men. So I say this again - No Sympathy.
So apparently the above part was worded in such a way people didn't quite understand the actual point being made. It's okay - some people struggle to read between the lines and see the actual message. Instead they see what they want and throw their toys out of their prams because I am being - honest and saying how it is.
Life is about learning from mistakes, we all do it. We some times fall over when walking down the street which is why learn to watch where we walk and to pay attention. The above paragraph is about those who continue to make mistakes and refuse to listen. The "no sympathy" might be harsh but frankly life is not a sugar coated biscuit that a lot of youth these days think. Life WILL bite you sooner or later. This happens even to rich celebrities who have drug problems, meltdowns or dwindling careers.
Life is not pretty. If people fail to see the obvious mistakes sorry NO SYMPATHY. I had a friend who failed to listen to her friends and family regarding "the jerk", we advised her to take precautions if she refused to walk away. In the end she got dumped when she fell pregnant, the result was she went through an abortion which devastated her. As a friend I did the right thing and stood by her when no one else did. She became a much more evil and bitter twisted person as time went by. In the end she treated people on how this jerk treated her (even though he was still able to worm his way back in to her life because she wouldn't stop). Even one of her nicest friends used the term "no sympathy".
There's a lot of terms - You made your bed, you go sleep in it. Dig your own grave, shot in the foot. Terms used in regards to the EU - those voted remain are constantly using terms like this. Especially when peoples lively hoods are being destroyed, people losing jobs, marriage issues or even contemplating suicide.
If you physically or mentally can't handle life, sorry to say - NO SYMPATHY. You can cry about this, whine about it but life is not a soft bed. "Get Over it". It's strange the very people who complain about the liars in our Government also complain when people say what's needed to be said.
If you refuse to help your self, don't complain when no one wants to assist.
I push this on to my self as well, I've made many mistakes and even as a kid a long time ago.. I was a little swine.. a troublemaker. I have no sympathy for my self and certainly DO NOT expect any either. I've made a ton of love life mistakes with exs, fallen out with friends and even gone through some serious harsh life problems and serious injuries. - I got over them and I don't expect sympathy. They have made me stronger, I don't sit here in self pity.
So examples:
- Woman has a miscarriage but was a heavy smoker, drinker takes drugs. Never eats well or healthy, treats life like a joke and throws daily abuse at people - Would you have sympathy for her?
- Politician is caught avoiding tax, backstabs his own party leader, cheats on his wife while also being abusive towards her but has money trouble as a result from being sacked and faces prison - Would you have sympathy for him?
Funny how two examples of people who may very well be innocent and perhaps have made some big mistakes in their life, would anyone give them sympathy? Now you will see the point I have been making.
Remember - There are those who don't have choices in their harsh lives, those who fight for food and drink every day. Who have serious illnesses that they couldn't prevent. THESE are the people who deserve sympathy when they have so little when the rest of us have so much and expect even more. These people are not making mistakes, these people when given the same opportunities tend to make a better life than the rest of us.
So let's continue the real subject I wanted to touch upon:
As a guy, I openly defend people because not everyone is "the same". If I see a comment that's aimed at women from a man I will say the exact same thing. This time around I mentioned the fact that women are no different - after all they are equal. Now if you don't want to discuss a tweet further, the best thing to do is not respond. What's the point if you don't want to discuss the subject? So here comes the responses and they came across as "hostile" as if some one has a problem with men. My reaction as I said before would have been the same as if it was a guy complaining about women. I questioned it - Well it's twitter after all - freedom of speech? it's open to discussion on a social network otherwise if it's a private matter why would you discuss it openly on twitter.
Then came the "Boy" comment. I've been following this individual on twitter and twitch, she's had some personal life issues and insecurities. I've been able to predict this background anger of hostility. After all, some one who is in a happy relationship and not single craving love/attention wouldn't react this way. This comment came across as quite sexist. As a guy, I can criticise my fellow men - after all I am one and fully understand that we are as much guilty as we are innocent - same as women. Unfortunately this individual is used to the attention from men, especially geeks who perhaps have rarely had a woman in their life. Having a large experience in women and relationships, I was able to tell exactly what this woman was like and wasn't surprised at the reaction.
A woman who doesn't have any anger issues would have accepted my response and wouldn't need to reply because it's a private matter? Luckily enough my life has taught me to avoid these kind of women because they at times can be quite needy. I've known men like this, controlling and insecure. They react badly when their other half contacts a guy. It's why some women use the term "he's gay" just so it doesn't cause any issues. Having been the innocent and guilty one on this front - I certainly can sense it. Guys who control their women just like women controlling their men is a very unattractive trait. It destroys relationships and crushes spirits. It can even change some ones personality (a lot of this has become punishable domestic abuse in the UK and rightly so).
So this individual who shall we say is used to having all sorts of people follow her for simple things. Like cooking, random chats, random thoughts and random games. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out the slight spoilt attitude. Slightly attractive as well and not necessarily a bad body, again as I mentioned is used to having men jump to talk to her.
Course she openly defended this other person with no regards of what was being said. I was being criticised because I actually stood up for "equality" and that not all men are guilty plus some women like it or not are no different. Then came "ordering me" if I say "calm down" - that is by no definition an order. It's a suggestion, a request, something that a British person would say to a passer by. If on the other hand I said "Simon says" that by all means is an order. If I say "Shut up" that is an aggressive suggestion bordering on an order. Calm down is a simple polite way that you being relaxed might help.
I'm a big fan of twitter, it allows you to discuss with anyone about anything all publicly. It's actually why I use a secret account because I openly criticise my own professionals and the type of people I worked with over the (nearly) 20 years.
I've had my fair share of bad women and certainly not had a small love life either. I've had plenty of friends through the years and every single one of them has had relationships in some way. This helped create my large experience and because I am able to spend five minutes with some one and predict what they are like (the other half didn't believe me at first till I constantly proved it).
If you have issues you need to deal with them first, you need to be happy before you find some one.
So the Feminists again
A hot topic on and off twitter every couple of days. Some feminists are pushing on the border (even breaking it) on the superiority attitude against men. Feminism is not about superiority it's about equality nothing less and nothing more - that's a fact. You should not be dishing something you can't take.
Grow a back bone - as a kid I grew up in a rough area, my friends have been there and done that while still throw banter. This all helped me grow that back bone.
So why is it, if I openly question or even explain the situation that's classes as a "hissy fit". As I type up this blog I do so calmly, explaining, showing some examples of the good, the bad and the ugly.
Is that a term you would use sitting in a group of tables openly discussing something? And because you don't necessarily agree with something that's classed as a hissy fit? I sometimes wonder if people are too used to not having questions put towards them. Why did you get up in the morning? Why did you choose your career? What do you do at the weekends? What do you do during the weekdays?
If I continue to question something that's simply curiosity not a "hissy fit". If I publicly advertise questions how is that no different to aiming it to one person?
As I said before I think the issue here is some have had their lives handed to them and perhaps had little friction to deal with. In my job I have to question, if I don't understand something I want more information, if I don't agree I will say it. If that means I make a phone call, have a chat or simply put it on an email then it's no different to any other discussion. I'm making points - which is what my blogs are about.
Solution
In one simple line - get over your self. British term used often, it's not meant to be a passive gesture but instead it means - realise the world doesn't evolve around you. Life isn't easy and it can be hard but working towards the future and don't use aggression to dictate how you live. I will say what a relative WW2 vet said many years ago. We fought, we died and we came home broken. We had to do it, some didn't want to, some did, some were afraid and some were courageous. Creating a better world and protecting one from evil. I hope you live the life we will be proud of.
It was a line I learnt off by heart (mainly because he would remind me every month)...
Problem is with some people especially in todays world, so many have been used to having life handed to them on a silver plate. It's rare to see people working all day every day just to put food on the table. My family know that's why I work very hard. I get paid 37 hours a week yet I tend to do 45. It secures my position, it doesn't grant a pay rise or better prospects but instead it tightens my grip on a safe job.
How many work hard for everything they have?
Our nation, our world is fast becoming - sorry to say this - a whore.
The recent issue I am witnessing being - Sexism and Twitter is public (like it or not).
Public with a touch of Sexism
Twitter like it or not isn't having a discreet conversation with some one unless you send messages. If you tweet, you are open to having responses. I recently made one which the individual obviously didn't like. The original tweet was particularly aimed at men, most likely a guy who had been controlling. If you are stupid enough to get with a guy like that, sorry to say but you have little sympathy. I've had friends who didn't listen to advice and as a result either had abortions or became single mothers while spending a long time slating men. So I say this again - No Sympathy.
So apparently the above part was worded in such a way people didn't quite understand the actual point being made. It's okay - some people struggle to read between the lines and see the actual message. Instead they see what they want and throw their toys out of their prams because I am being - honest and saying how it is.
Life is about learning from mistakes, we all do it. We some times fall over when walking down the street which is why learn to watch where we walk and to pay attention. The above paragraph is about those who continue to make mistakes and refuse to listen. The "no sympathy" might be harsh but frankly life is not a sugar coated biscuit that a lot of youth these days think. Life WILL bite you sooner or later. This happens even to rich celebrities who have drug problems, meltdowns or dwindling careers.
Life is not pretty. If people fail to see the obvious mistakes sorry NO SYMPATHY. I had a friend who failed to listen to her friends and family regarding "the jerk", we advised her to take precautions if she refused to walk away. In the end she got dumped when she fell pregnant, the result was she went through an abortion which devastated her. As a friend I did the right thing and stood by her when no one else did. She became a much more evil and bitter twisted person as time went by. In the end she treated people on how this jerk treated her (even though he was still able to worm his way back in to her life because she wouldn't stop). Even one of her nicest friends used the term "no sympathy".
There's a lot of terms - You made your bed, you go sleep in it. Dig your own grave, shot in the foot. Terms used in regards to the EU - those voted remain are constantly using terms like this. Especially when peoples lively hoods are being destroyed, people losing jobs, marriage issues or even contemplating suicide.
If you physically or mentally can't handle life, sorry to say - NO SYMPATHY. You can cry about this, whine about it but life is not a soft bed. "Get Over it". It's strange the very people who complain about the liars in our Government also complain when people say what's needed to be said.
If you refuse to help your self, don't complain when no one wants to assist.
I push this on to my self as well, I've made many mistakes and even as a kid a long time ago.. I was a little swine.. a troublemaker. I have no sympathy for my self and certainly DO NOT expect any either. I've made a ton of love life mistakes with exs, fallen out with friends and even gone through some serious harsh life problems and serious injuries. - I got over them and I don't expect sympathy. They have made me stronger, I don't sit here in self pity.
So examples:
- Woman has a miscarriage but was a heavy smoker, drinker takes drugs. Never eats well or healthy, treats life like a joke and throws daily abuse at people - Would you have sympathy for her?
- Politician is caught avoiding tax, backstabs his own party leader, cheats on his wife while also being abusive towards her but has money trouble as a result from being sacked and faces prison - Would you have sympathy for him?
Funny how two examples of people who may very well be innocent and perhaps have made some big mistakes in their life, would anyone give them sympathy? Now you will see the point I have been making.
Remember - There are those who don't have choices in their harsh lives, those who fight for food and drink every day. Who have serious illnesses that they couldn't prevent. THESE are the people who deserve sympathy when they have so little when the rest of us have so much and expect even more. These people are not making mistakes, these people when given the same opportunities tend to make a better life than the rest of us.
So let's continue the real subject I wanted to touch upon:
As a guy, I openly defend people because not everyone is "the same". If I see a comment that's aimed at women from a man I will say the exact same thing. This time around I mentioned the fact that women are no different - after all they are equal. Now if you don't want to discuss a tweet further, the best thing to do is not respond. What's the point if you don't want to discuss the subject? So here comes the responses and they came across as "hostile" as if some one has a problem with men. My reaction as I said before would have been the same as if it was a guy complaining about women. I questioned it - Well it's twitter after all - freedom of speech? it's open to discussion on a social network otherwise if it's a private matter why would you discuss it openly on twitter.
Then came the "Boy" comment. I've been following this individual on twitter and twitch, she's had some personal life issues and insecurities. I've been able to predict this background anger of hostility. After all, some one who is in a happy relationship and not single craving love/attention wouldn't react this way. This comment came across as quite sexist. As a guy, I can criticise my fellow men - after all I am one and fully understand that we are as much guilty as we are innocent - same as women. Unfortunately this individual is used to the attention from men, especially geeks who perhaps have rarely had a woman in their life. Having a large experience in women and relationships, I was able to tell exactly what this woman was like and wasn't surprised at the reaction.
A woman who doesn't have any anger issues would have accepted my response and wouldn't need to reply because it's a private matter? Luckily enough my life has taught me to avoid these kind of women because they at times can be quite needy. I've known men like this, controlling and insecure. They react badly when their other half contacts a guy. It's why some women use the term "he's gay" just so it doesn't cause any issues. Having been the innocent and guilty one on this front - I certainly can sense it. Guys who control their women just like women controlling their men is a very unattractive trait. It destroys relationships and crushes spirits. It can even change some ones personality (a lot of this has become punishable domestic abuse in the UK and rightly so).
So this individual who shall we say is used to having all sorts of people follow her for simple things. Like cooking, random chats, random thoughts and random games. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out the slight spoilt attitude. Slightly attractive as well and not necessarily a bad body, again as I mentioned is used to having men jump to talk to her.
Course she openly defended this other person with no regards of what was being said. I was being criticised because I actually stood up for "equality" and that not all men are guilty plus some women like it or not are no different. Then came "ordering me" if I say "calm down" - that is by no definition an order. It's a suggestion, a request, something that a British person would say to a passer by. If on the other hand I said "Simon says" that by all means is an order. If I say "Shut up" that is an aggressive suggestion bordering on an order. Calm down is a simple polite way that you being relaxed might help.
I'm a big fan of twitter, it allows you to discuss with anyone about anything all publicly. It's actually why I use a secret account because I openly criticise my own professionals and the type of people I worked with over the (nearly) 20 years.
I've had my fair share of bad women and certainly not had a small love life either. I've had plenty of friends through the years and every single one of them has had relationships in some way. This helped create my large experience and because I am able to spend five minutes with some one and predict what they are like (the other half didn't believe me at first till I constantly proved it).
If you have issues you need to deal with them first, you need to be happy before you find some one.
So the Feminists again
A hot topic on and off twitter every couple of days. Some feminists are pushing on the border (even breaking it) on the superiority attitude against men. Feminism is not about superiority it's about equality nothing less and nothing more - that's a fact. You should not be dishing something you can't take.
Grow a back bone - as a kid I grew up in a rough area, my friends have been there and done that while still throw banter. This all helped me grow that back bone.
So why is it, if I openly question or even explain the situation that's classes as a "hissy fit". As I type up this blog I do so calmly, explaining, showing some examples of the good, the bad and the ugly.
Is that a term you would use sitting in a group of tables openly discussing something? And because you don't necessarily agree with something that's classed as a hissy fit? I sometimes wonder if people are too used to not having questions put towards them. Why did you get up in the morning? Why did you choose your career? What do you do at the weekends? What do you do during the weekdays?
If I continue to question something that's simply curiosity not a "hissy fit". If I publicly advertise questions how is that no different to aiming it to one person?
As I said before I think the issue here is some have had their lives handed to them and perhaps had little friction to deal with. In my job I have to question, if I don't understand something I want more information, if I don't agree I will say it. If that means I make a phone call, have a chat or simply put it on an email then it's no different to any other discussion. I'm making points - which is what my blogs are about.
Solution
In one simple line - get over your self. British term used often, it's not meant to be a passive gesture but instead it means - realise the world doesn't evolve around you. Life isn't easy and it can be hard but working towards the future and don't use aggression to dictate how you live. I will say what a relative WW2 vet said many years ago. We fought, we died and we came home broken. We had to do it, some didn't want to, some did, some were afraid and some were courageous. Creating a better world and protecting one from evil. I hope you live the life we will be proud of.
It was a line I learnt off by heart (mainly because he would remind me every month)...
Problem is with some people especially in todays world, so many have been used to having life handed to them on a silver plate. It's rare to see people working all day every day just to put food on the table. My family know that's why I work very hard. I get paid 37 hours a week yet I tend to do 45. It secures my position, it doesn't grant a pay rise or better prospects but instead it tightens my grip on a safe job.
How many work hard for everything they have?
Our nation, our world is fast becoming - sorry to say this - a whore.
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