Personal: Time for ALL to stand for #Equality including those who hate men

So I decided it’s time to do an update, same argument and same level of “because I’m a man I don’t understand”.

 

Correct, I don’t understand what it’s like to be undervalued, overworked and underpaid.  Even though I’m currently a support staff member in education which quite often treats staff like me as if we are under qualified, inexperienced and easily replaceable.  I've no idea how it feels like to have staff talk to me as if a 16 year old student can replace me easily.  I have no idea what it’s like to see people chosen over me for their more attractive looks or for their sex.  I have no idea what it’s like to see someone get a job over me just because they were “bum kissers” and lacked experience and qualifications compared to me.  I’ve never been treated poorly for my position and never treated like a second class citizen.

 

Do you sense the sarcasm.  Truth of the matter is all the above occurred when I had zero confidence and 100% fear for losing my job, my earnings and essentially crippling my current career.  Does all that sound familiar? I bet it does.

 

I’m a man though so how can all the above sound familiar, that’s the attitude I get from some individuals.  I ask questions, are you doing enough?  The truth of the matter is I wish I can go back in time and actually punch my self in the face and tell me to grow up and gain some confidence.  I shouldn't allow anyone to treat me poorly just because they think they are better than me.  I shouldn't allow my self to be degraded by another man or a woman.  To make me feel like I am a walking penis.  To make me feel like I am just a sperm donor or a walking tripod. 

Does that also sound familiar? 

 

I will ask some more questions:

If you witnessed a simple crime and didn’t report it, you kept your mouth shut – does that make you almost or as guilty as those committing it?

What if that crime was a serious one that resulted in a death.

If you witnessed a child being sexually abused but you kept your mouth quiet out of fear for your career, job or life? Does that still make you as guilty? What if that child got murdered a week later?  Don’t react badly I am simply “asking a question”.

 

So the point:

What my point is, those who are keeping quiet on something “illegal” are surely “partly” to blame for society having any type of equality pay issues.  Now again don’t react badly instead ask this question, those that are oblivious to this problem in society – are they also ”partly” to blame?  I’ve heard the same people that say we want to raise awareness cry out that these people with their eyes closed ARE also to blame.  So surely that means those who know about it but say nothing – ARE also to blame.

I am also apart of the problem, back in those days I didn't have any bravery at all to stand up to my line managers or bosses.  I can tell you now I refuse to allow my self to be treated poorly and this includes those who I am responsible for.

 

This isn’t blaming those above 100% for this issue, instead this is adding “part” blame only.  Think about it, what do we really need to do to fight for equality? This isn’t just a “man” issue, there are jobs that men are paid less – especially in the modelling/adult industry.  These are simply two factors, I’m sure I could list more especially on the business administration and secretarial professions where the demand for women is higher.

 

If you’re concerned that I am simply blaming 100% on those who don’t do anything, ask yourself this:  What if I knew a woman who was not equally paid or perhaps under paid even though she works more, better experienced, qualified and deserved it over a male colleague who just sits there and does nothing.  Would you say I am a part of the problem? If I say and do nothing.  What If the boss asked me “do you think this woman deserves to be paid as much if not more?” and my response was “don’t know” or no response.  Would you say I am a part of the problem?

 

Women

You know I’ve said this in a lot of tweets and posts, I’ve constantly had “you’re a man you don’t understand” correction I don’t understand what child birth is like because I have and never will give birth.  I don’t know what the period is like because I don’t and never will have periods.  I do how ever know what it feels like to have illnesses that effect the human body.  I do how ever know what it feels like to work in a work place controlled by the opposite sex.  I do how ever know what it feels like to be deemed a walking piece of meat with one small brain on my shoulders and the big one between my legs.  I do how ever know what it feels like to be treated as a sexual object while my bum cheeks were pinched and told “I’m a guy, I can take it”.

 

What I do know is that like it or not sexism is a serious issue.  This isn’t just 100% men, this is also the fault of women.  I once was effectively bribed for sex (long time ago).

 

The above women are just as partly to blame for the culture we live in.  The culture of competition, hate, pride and emotional control to the opposite sex.  For men it’s simple we’ve always been working, fighting and women in history have been the stay at home moms for the majority of world cultures.  It’s not that long ago in our own nation was this fixed, unfortunately men at the time controlled all the empires.  Now women are fast catching up and rightly so.  We have women’s football which is gaining popularity, women are owning businesses and are catching up on equal pay.  Course I won’t deny there is some way to go (likewise for racism and hate).

 

Thing is, don’t expect it to be fixed overnight if people are still remaining quiet.  Don’t expect it to be fixed if women are just as guilty for sexism issues as men.

Equal job Equal Pay

Now this is something I picked up in another post:

https://itsupportns.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/personal-genderpaygap.html

One thing people don't realise is are you actually doing a better job, more qualified and experienced?

I have a team working under me and although on the outside they are both the same level it's actually not true.  If the lower paid guy left and I employed a woman to do his job would she be happy to see the other guy earning more?  Probably not.  Would I? Of course not.  The thing is the higher paid guy has the same experience but not qualifications or knowledge.  One is a great day to day kind of jobs position while the other is much more technical.  So should that position earn more - absolutely regardless of sex.  What if I replaced that more technical capable guy with a woman who wasn't as technical capable but instead was effectively the same level as the low paid person.  Should they both now be earning the same? Yes.  Should that woman be earning the same as the high technical person just left? No.  Is this a gender pay gap problem - absolutely not.  If I however replaced the higher technical guy with a higher technical woman I would certainly expect their salary to match and be no different.

I can imagine a few throwing a tantrum over the above but you can't claim it's a gender problem when the knowledge > day to day work is different.  I have a team to deal with and I'm fully aware of what all of us do daily.  I'm the highly paid one because of my manager position and decisions I make reflect the entire School.  The middle guy performs highly technical tasks and the low end guy performs all the day to day simple tasks.  Is any of this a gender pay gap problem? No.

 

So how does it get fixed?

Firstly the sexism stops FULL STOP.  That’s men AND women.  That means a man can’t sit there all day berating women, likewise for women berating men who “don’t understand”.  Both are part of the problem.

Secondly people fight against unequal pay FULL STOP.  That means who ever suffers it will have to be brave and fight.  Simply being quiet is also a part of the problem.

Thirdly the witnesses, the silent ones will also have to raise their voices and fight.  That means they too will have to be brave.  Again simply being quiet is also part of the problem.

 

Like it or not throughout history equality has never been something given on a plate, it’s been something people put their lives on the line for.  And rightly so because it’s the only way people will realise it not only exists but it must be fixed.

 

Just remember if you are not a victim, don’t act like one.  If you have historically experienced the problems, just remember that’s history and what matters is how things are today.  I’ve seen a lot of people on twitter stating that they have faced this 15+ years ago.  We need people to voice their concerns today.  There are also a lot of people supporting this but have no knowledge of it actually happening – are simply stating their support.  Remember there is nothing wrong with supporting but when you start walking out of work, you’re not raising awareness you are causing issues for your company/workplace that may very well be “innocent”.  What we need to be doing is naming and shaming these companies who do not pay fairly.

 

I leave that here, just realise that like racism > I’ve always stood against anyone who is sexist or racist – that includes against women who fight for feminism but don’t fight it when it’s in their own agendas.

 

Do the right thing even if you suffer for it.  Fight for what’s right not because you hate the opposite sex.  This is the issue I am constantly seeing.  Some women are actually hating men completely.  I do apologise if you have suffered real issues, real gender pay gaps and sexist problems.  I can't do nothing about them.  What I can do is when I see a real sexist issue - I'm not afraid to tell them to grow up.   If I witnessed someone being paid less for the same position I am willing to put my neck on the line and do something about it.

Question - Are YOU willing to put YOUR neck on the line or is it easier to just simply do a bit of twitter trending and walk out of work to show your apparent support?

Shouldn't you be telling people to report it, stand against it when THEY witness it? Showing twitter support actually does nothing.


Once more - if you find you have real hate issues towards men just remember - You're also apart of the sexism problem around the world if you like it or not.  As a man I've never physically hurt a woman.  I've never made a woman feel like she is second class to me and I respect them.  Do you respect men?

 

 

Personal: #GenderPayGap

I'm going to start this one off with some questions and answer it as a human being not from a gender, race, age or religion:
Q:  You work 37 hours a week full time job, you've had no time off to explore the world, have children, holidays, relationships - you've effectively prioritized your career as some do.  Do you agree that someone who takes time off for whatever reason to be given equal pay as you?  Even though your experience and perhaps even qualifications are better than the part timer?
This is NOT a gender related question, this is sticking to basics.  I know plenty who have taken a sabbatical right after College/University, I know plenty who prioritized raising a family before they were 30.  My question is aimed at those who prioritized their careers - as I have done.  My job came first above relationships, kids, holidays, traveling or generally taking time out to "doss".
The answer to that question will 99% be - NO.  And rightly so, why should someone who’s  got less experience than me earn the same wage.  Problem is we live in a society of delusion.  If it doesn’t impact me it doesn’t exist.  I’m more than willing to admit that the #GenderPayGap is real but how many react badly over this.  If someone walked in to do my job would that person know the decades of experience I have under my belt?  I’ve already mentioned that I have never taken more than my holiday allowance off in all those years.  Since leaving School I’ve always had a Monday to Friday cycle either for education or work.  I have never taken more than two weeks off – never.
A lot of people are sick to death of those who choose not to work, to live off benefits, take a year out to travel, raise a few kids but expect to immediately walk in to your position and on your pay.  I have no problem with people making their life choices but do not expect to walk in to my job and earn my wage regardless of what your gender is. .  Many of us see people travel the world through their own choices instead of working and earning a career.  And if they choose to do that - rightly so it's their choice.  Should they immediately be allowed to earn the same pay ? NO way on earth.  Not to mention how many possible promotional jobs they will miss as a result of not working – and like it or not long time off periods for whatever reason will impact on promotional prospects.
Like it or not no matter which profession you choose, no matter your gender, race, beliefs you should earn the same amount as someone matching your experience and qualifications.
In my profession, I've had to interview a lot of people.  Only two were women out of about 50, is that a gender issue? No.  Fact of the matter is women don't generally have an interest in IT, they don't - sorry it's true.  Out of every woman I've met, dated, been seeing or had serious relationships with very few shared the same IT interests - this is fact to my own life.  It has nothing to do with gender, it's just the way it is.
Now what is #GenderPayGap
I tell you what the problem is:  Two people have the same experience, qualifications, same attitude for the job but the employer chooses to promote and give a pay rise to the man because of his gender - THIS is a #GenderPayGap problem.  They’ve both put the same level of commitment to the job but the woman is completely ignored and passed over.  This is illegal and you MUST report it.
When I’ve done interviews I’m usually able to tell straight away after reviewing all the job applications who the preferred candidates are.  I don’t care about personal details I look straight at the experience and qualifications.  Once I’ve made my mind up I then look through those details to see who’d be a good prospect moving forward, after all I don’t want a technician that I train up to just move on after 12 months.  I don’t want some one who perhaps will struggle to work with children and adults.  How they cope with the job itself and the work environment is crucial.  At no stage does their sex come in to the fray.
#Sexism
This is where a woman deserves a position but again isn't given it as a result of her gender - this is sexism.
Promoting a man over a woman due to his increased level of experience or qualifications is NOT a sexism problem regardless of how much temper throwing tantrums will make you think.
Q:  A person is a doctor because of his 10 years of experience and qualifications, but another person who has only 5 years’ experience and half the qualifications is expecting the same position.  Who would you rather be a doctor the first one or the second?  You would choose the first one even though if it turned out to be a man or a woman.  I’d always prefer someone with more experience and qualifications.  It’s also the reason why when people complain they demand the manager.  The manager would most likely be in the job for years while the standard worker could have been in the position for a few months.
Fact of the matter is, in ANY professional job: the one who should get it does so through experience, qualifications and the right attitude.
Any employer who chooses to pay someone more because of their gender is guilty and SHOULD be reported.  It’s illegal no matter what.
Why no one reports?
Strange this one, the ones kicking up a fuss about "IT EXISTS" are the same ones who don't suffer it and don’t know anyone who does.  They are simply throwing their support.  Instead those who do suffer it are too scared to raise their voice.  You should be reporting it - the end.  If you don't report it does that make you just as guilty?  If you see a crime and don't report it what do you expect?  Fact of the matter is we need everyone to report it regardless.  You may not like it but you are just as responsible for the problem existing today as those employ men over women due to their gender.  I’ll give you a few other examples:
There’s been an increase of abuse popping up in the news lately.  You have those who suffer and those who witness it but don’t report it out of fear.  As a victim you must report it and fight for those guilty to be prosecuted.  I completely feel for these people because they are the victims.  What about those who sit idly by and watch it unfold.  Are they just as guilty as those who are causing it?  I’d say yes.  If I witnessed a terrible crime or something illegal and sat by allowing it to happen – I’m guilty too.
Sports - Apparently Women and Men should earn the same
This one I will choose football as a prime example.  The Premier League is one of the biggest leagues in the world - it just so happens it's the male league.  I've watched women football and I'm sorry to say but #equality is never going to happen until women and men are allowed to compete in the same league.  Do we really want this? I'm all for it. 
We will still have massive pay gaps from the top teams to the bottom teams like we currently do.  The Premier League will still over pay players regardless.
Now for anyone that's not watched football, I highly recommend it especially watching both women’s/men’s football.  You will see differences, physicality, strength and skill.
I leave that for YOU to notice. 
Then let's have a look at viewers, this league again has one of the highest viewers, in demand and you look at sponsorship deals, TV rights, advertisements- like it or not - not everyone actually watches women's football.  It's catching up but the fact is it's got a long way to go.  At my current work place we have an academy, only with 10 girls vs 200 boys.  This is a typical fact that women don't naturally have an interest in football (sorry this is a fact) how many football stadiums are full of women? how many pay for Sky/Virgin sports to watch it ?  This has nothing to do with #equality this has to do with the way the world is.  I wish my other half had a massive interest in football, but she doesn't.  Her relative on the other hand is a maniac for it.  Gender problem? or just the way society is.
As I said, I'm all for both sexes competing on the same playing field for any sport. 
I will add this:  World Record Holder for the men’s 200 metres is 19.19s and the women’s 21.34s.
Are we happy to have both the women and the men competing for the same thing?  If you insist on fixing #Equality you may find this will actually fix nothing.  Should Bolt earn the same as Florence? although doing the same thing one has obviously outperformed the other.  Performance pay? Competing in the same competitions? right alongside men?
It's interesting so many have called for #equal pay and #performance related - would that create equal pay - nope.
People need to open their eyes, fixing the gap is a real issue and should be reported but if there is a gap - does it automatically mean it’s down to gender or perhaps that other person deserves the better pay.
I have a team in my job, one technician is paid better - he deserves to.  His knowledge and experience isn't just a typical technician but more of an engineer/networking.  Should he be paid the same as the other technician, even though their job descriptions are not really different? even though he has better qualifications and perhaps could easily go off to a better job? No they should not be equally paid even though they are all the same sex.  What would happen if the lower paid technician was in fact a woman.  Would she class it as #EqualPayGap problems? I'd place a bet that she could very well feel that way because she doesn’t see the big picture nor would she get to see the other techies job description – nor his work load I assign him.  I’d also add the fact the lower paid technician doesn’t comprehend the importance of high priority jobs vs low priority ones.  His work drive I wouldn’t say is fantastic even with additional training.  So not only would I rate the qualifications, experience higher but I’d also add – drive/reliability.
Pay Gaps
Like it or not they exist, if you are not promoted because you don't deserve it this is NOT a gender related issue.  If you don't get a pay rise because you are constantly taking time off regardless of reasons - then again this has nothing to do with gender.  No one not even a woman manager would pay someone a promotional job if they’re taking time off left right and centre.  Like it or not – that’s a reliability personality trait which is important for professional jobs.
If you are passed along even though you are the hardest worker, well sadly we do live in a world where sometimes you have not simply kissed enough bum.  I hate this term but it exists.  I've worked alongside few of these - simply because they kissed the right butt.  I've witnessed people get better positions because they were selfish and didn't know loyalty... again I hate this but it exists.
So next time you cry #GenderPayGap slow down and think - does this person regardless of sex deserve the position?
Equality Note
This is a major issue and I've covered this already before, I found a comment that claimed "women are expected to be at home looking after the little ones".  Yes they do, do you want to know who expects that? some men AND some women - even the law.  Like it or not, men don't have near as many rights to their kids compared to women - THIS is an #equality problem that #Feminists do NOTHING about.  I've not seen a single person fighting for equality in any way about this comment.  Why? Because the majority of those who claim they want it actually want superiority - they are also a part of the problem.  Fathers’ rights is something that’s an equality issue and actually more severe than #GenderPayGap because in the eyes of the law fathers’ don’t have equal rights.
Equality is about that - EQUALITY
That means:
Any gender on equal quality is entitled to the same promotion
Any gender is entitled to custody of children
Any gender is entitled to compete in any sport
Now technically the above is true but also it's not.  Women at the moment do not compete in the same sport alongside men.
A man is not equally valuable as a woman in regards to custody of children.
A woman who prioritizes having kids isn't going to be given that promotion because like it or not she wouldn't be as experienced as a full time 10 year worker even if that worker is another woman.
Next time, you cry #GenderPayGap slow down and think (yes I said this but I will say it again).
Equality really does mean that, are you fully prepared for it?  You may find that the end result won’t actually change much.  Bolt as a result of his world record time (for men and women) deserves to be paid more as a result of his performance.  If a woman had beaten that time, I'd say she must get better pay.  Likewise in society.
Having tweeted a lot of women in regards to this the majority of responses are usually the same "I'm just supporting this because it exists, even though it doesn't impact me nor do I know anyone who suffers from it"....... but I do get a few who “It impacts me or I know some who suffer it but not going to say anything”.  Interesting how many have sat down and watched something illegal let alone something that impacts them.  If you’re not willing to report it you are too a part of the problem just as much as those who claim it doesn’t exist – it does.

Personal: Why feminism is overly abused and is about revenge

We all know what's going on, a fight for equality for women and men.  Which I will add I completely support.


I've been doing my job solid for over a decade:
Should a woman earn as much as me if her qualifications and experience are the same level? Yes absolutely.  Should she be treated equaly on every level, in regards to her career choice, day to day job choice?  Totally.  Should a woman tolerate being treated poorly? absolutely not.


The above goes for everyone, regardless of gender, race or class.

Question though aimed at feminists fighting for equality, is this about what's right or revenge?


There seems to be a severe hypocrisy in regards to fighting for equality and remember that's what this is about.  Giving a woman every chance in life as a man gets - which is again spot on the way it should be (we should be adding everyone - can't exclude anyone regardless).


Now, I would like to add as a man I've had the following thrown in my face:

• Expected to support women financially (namely a few ex girlfriends of mine) no we didn't get married nor have children.
• Expected to open a door for a lady (is equality about being polite? why not hold the door open for me?)
• Expected to take it like a man, take the insults and the criticisms because I have a backbone.
• Men can't do more than one thing.
• Typical "male" - How many times have I heard that I "think between my legs", my second brain, typical man etc.  They can range from jokes to serious comments about my gender - do I take these as severe insults?  well no.  Even though equality means you shouldn't be saying anything that criticises my gender right?  Considering the amount of court cases of sexual harassment can occur with similar things.

Recently there has been a certain MP that went to war to remove the "Page 3" which I can totally understand, I don't think material like that should be easily available in papers.  Even though those models would earn a living for something they choose to do.  Very similar to a certain KK who insists on posting nude pictures of her self and claims it's for feminists.  Sorry to say but that is no different to me posting a picture saying this is for men - ridiculous.


Fighting equality is about fighting womens rights to equal pay, equal treatment and to be no different than the treatment of men.  Simple.  How some one who has never expressed equal rights for women but magically uses it as an excuse to advertise who own naked body?  Then again this is the same woman who conveniently leaked a certain inappropriate video and magically became world known.  She was a nobody before that.


How to move forward
It's pretty simple, a big issue is maternity leave/pay.  I can totally understand from an employers point of view that I would rather choose someone who will give me 5 years with nothing but say 28 days holiday time to use up.  It's not against women, it's not against equality but instead it's against some one that costs the company a lot of money to have children while taking paid time off.  How do we solve that though?  force the man to take maternity leave?  From a personal point of view I want my other half looking after the baby but taking care of her self as well.  Looking after a child is a full time job and she deserves her break just as much as anyone.  So would I mind taking maternity time off as well?  nope not at all.
One problem with that is, would we see a change in interview questions - are you in a relationship? are you engaged? will you be having children any time soon?  would bachelor's/singletons be more preferred?


Is that a fix, a step in the right direction?


Sexual harassment of any kind is wrong
Criticising some one of their gender is wrong, How far do we go though?  till we lose that "backbone" and no longer able to take any joke or criticism.  I don't take everything personal, I am a man, grew up as a man and born a boy.  I grew up with male banter, jokes and learnt that thick skin not to take anything personal.  I have taken criticisms my whole life from women regarding my gender, I'm in my young 30s and I grew up in a world where women are not treated as kitchen house wives.  That was my previous generation as shown by some older men that I've known through the years but the same can be said about the older women who act like men should be providing food/money for the house.
My other half can't take criticisms well and instantly can turn on the insane emotion.  Her friends are all similar, not very good at taking it which is why they don't even joke about it - instead they do it behind each others backs.  My friends who are guys joke to their face, criticise the clothes, the mistakes and anything to the face.


There is a difference between men and women, that's not about equality that's about individuality.  That's the way things have been for a very long time, it's the way we raise our kids, the way a man may protect a daughter and a mum will protect her son.  That's a society issue not an equality issue.


Need more Women
So, something else I see often.  Ten people have had a view on something and only two are women - feminism.  Hold your horses, if I walk down the street and grabbed the first ten people I see regardless of gender and I happen to grab more men than women?  That's got nothing to do with equality.  If I hold interviews which I have done over the years and the majority has been men; this also has nothing to do with equality.  Why should I purposely put "Seeks more women" in a job advertisement just to attract more women to my profession?  Is this in any way related to equality?
No - end of.  This immediately causes a betting odd that would say more men in my profession, would that mean more men are earning more? yes but there will also be more men earning less.  The simple fact is there are more men in my job than women.
In my current profession I've only known 3 women compared to about 40+ men.


I am constantly seeing, comparisons to the amount of men vs women in a lot.  I watch football and see more men interested in the sport than women, is that men putting women down or is that simply lack of interest by women.  Which is true, I know at the top of my head 4 women that love football as much as I do. How many men do I know?  a lot.  Has this got anything to do with equality? no.  Even my other half has no interest in watching the game "It's boring" but she wouldn't mind attending a live game to feel the atmosphere.  Has this got anything to do with equality? no.  There is a constant scape goat being used in regards to equality, if a woman chooses to be interested in football only a small minority of men will have a problem with it.  That small minority are an issue in regards to equality.  I know a lot of men who have no issue in fact, they would prefer it if their other half's were interested in football.  It means no squabble, no fighting or problems over who has the TV.


Real Equality Issues


When a man tells a woman she can't do something because of her gender - that's an equality issue.  When a man refuses to give a job to a woman even though she is better qualified/experienced because of her gender - that's an equality issue.  When a man tells a woman to get her body out, well that's sexual harassment and isn't an equality issue.


When a woman tells a man that he can't do something because of his gender - that's an equality issue.  When a woman refuses to give a job to a man even though he is better qualified/experienced because of his gender - that's an equality issue.  When a woman tells a man to get his body out, well that's sexual harassment.

See what I did there?  Equality is about equal rights to all.  Want to talk about custodial rights as a mother VS father? for a child that doesn't need breast feeding? this is an equality issue.


There is a constant term some feminists are using that men can't fully comprehend what it's like to be a woman.  You are right, men don't fully understand.  Likewise though for a woman to understand what it's like to be a man.  Sexism and equality is a major issue and does affect both men and women but no one can have their cake and eat it.  Equality is about both sides having EQUAL rights in everything and I've used one example on why men don't have equality as well.  I'm not denying the issue is bigger for women because of society and cultures that exist today/in history.


It's not going to be fixed till everyone decides that they want equality, not revenge but equal rights for both men and women.  So question to those who fight for feminists - are you really after equal rights or are you after revenge.  There is a huge difference to showing your body as a woman to showing your body for attention.  If you look at some ones history and that person has done nothing but seek attention - certain reality celebrity - it's NOT feminism.  This entire episode reminds me of celebrities fighting poverty while they live in their 10 room mansion, multiple servants and swimming pools with a maintenance cost of more than I earn in 5 years.  #Hypocrisy


If you spend your life fighting for equal rights - you should do it where it is needed.  Not to seek attention.  Has this reality celebrity gone out of her way to fight equality?  Has she treated men like a walking wallet? - This pretty much does sum up attention seeking and gold digging for this celebrity.  #QuiteSad